how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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