He is an equal opportunity slut.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
