hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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