Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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