smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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