Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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