So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
