my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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