Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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