11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
