I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
