i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
