in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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