too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
