I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
