okay pat passed out under dana's car
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize