i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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