Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
