Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
