i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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