i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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