Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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