you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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