So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
