Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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