What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
