my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
