So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We have started to decorate penises.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
