It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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