I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just tell him i said nine months
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
