Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(260): View more from Indiana

Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes

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(908): View more from New Jersey

How wet are you?

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

Ever heard of a U-boat?

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Redeem this text for a blowjob

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(404): View more from Georgia

I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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(802): View more from Vermont

he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...

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(937): View more from Ohio

they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"

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(760): View more from California

And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist

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(504): View more from Louisiana

We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex

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(364): View more from Kentucky

Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.

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