His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
