"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
