carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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