i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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