and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
