Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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