the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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