belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Drunk is not a location!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
