don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
