no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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