tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
nutella sex= disaster
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
