There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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