the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
