It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
