My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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