After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
