my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I looked at my own cervix.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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