The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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