She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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